And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
