Buhtt sex?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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