YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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