how can u be prego again
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
