i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
