Don't make out with my wife yet
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
