i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
