I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
