My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Actions speak louder than pants.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
