i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
