I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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