During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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