just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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