I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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