ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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