Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
