They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
