Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
