I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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