how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
our cab driver is having phone sex.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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