Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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