I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize