I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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