Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
