He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
