I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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