Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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