is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
