i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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