help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
