i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I have feelings that need drinking.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
