i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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