my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
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