I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
