ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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