and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
