I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
be right there i have to get my cape
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
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