so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
