You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
