You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
