I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
