trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
