Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i think i have herpe
just one?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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