Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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