when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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