i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
