we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
