I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
