So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
