My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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