I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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