508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
