Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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