It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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