I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
