I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
