Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Randomize