Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
