it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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