You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize