in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
